Archive for March, 2009

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

March 31, 2009

Marta Kauffman must be having a wonderful sex life — she fucks my nimmadhi and sandosham every evening. In keeping with the recent fad of not letting a crisis go waste, I have developed three business plans.

1. Buy all seasons of the crappy sitcom, all the trillion episodes, replace laughter track with boos. Or develop a system of embedding video tags and insert a sarcasm tag in all laughter tracks.

2. Build a time machine, go back in time and kill her.

3. File a class action suit and retire with my share of the spoils.

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Pilsner Urquell

March 30, 2009

The biggest problem with alcohol consumption is that it leads to delusions of intellectual clarity and superiority. Unsurprisingly, I see random groups picketing against outsourcing at major road intersections and people honking in solidarity as they drive by. Wondering if the picketers knew where their sneakers and Levis came from, I was chuckling smugly at the apparent hypocrisy. The usual thought train – “markets-free trade-sore losers” ensued and that was it. Until I had one too many bottles of Pilsner Urquell that night, which led to the realization that anarchy is the most desirable if one has talents that are outlawed by the government. The second most desirable has to be a totalitarian planned economy. But I digress.

Notes — Rich golden color. Bread, earthy grains with a dash of lemon. Bitter finish with hops. Very refreshing.

Summary — My favourite beer. Easy to drink. Ideal for lazing around with a book/computer. Equally wonderful when doing something like painting, cooking or cleaning.

Timing

March 30, 2009

My wife often makes astounding suggestions. Like she did this weekend – “Why switch off the lights between 8:30-9:30 for earth day? Why can’t it be postponed by an hour or two to improve participation?”. Indeed, what a sham this global warming alarm is turning out to be. As if to make it more evident, there was an inch of snow the day after.

More power to Freeman Dyson.

Glenmorangie Nectar D’Or

March 22, 2009

I have a simple attitude towards road trips – if there isn’t a starbucks or subway within a mile radius of where you are, you are not supposed to be there. As a driver, I get impatient after an hour on the freeway and start the “are we there yet?” routine. These mean I have to be wary of sunny and warm weekends. My wife usually comes up with one of her atrocious plans to drive 2 hours one way to a small pond or a camping site. The only place we both agree to go is a charming German village with microbreweries an hour or so away.

This week we had a similar plan, but thanks to unexpected flurries and unusual chill outside, we had to drop the plan. Instead, she invited her friends over for dinner and I settled with a bottle of Glenmorangie Nectar D’Or and a DVD of perumaal after they left. This is one of their new labels of the old wood finish bottles. This variant is matured in French casks that used to hold the Sauternes dessert wine. This is supposed to impart a sweet and spice flavor to the whisky.

Notes — Honey and spices to the nose. Honey-sweet with lime and spices, like herb tea. A long warming finish.

Watchmen – The Review

March 20, 2009

If imitation is the best form of flattery, what is parody?

Buick

March 19, 2009

Almost every radio channel is gloating over Buick pipping Lexus to the top spot in the Vehicle Dependability rankings by J D Power & Associates. As a footnote, they also observe that this is an amazing feat because Lexus has held that position continuously for the past 15 years. Here is a video for the occasion. Scroll to the 55 sec mark if you are in a hurry.

Come to think of it, I myself have done this in college. When I lost 1-20 to a friend who represented India at that time. He played with his left hand. He is a right hander. We might have been drunk.

Jameson Irish Whisk’e’y

March 18, 2009

Finding oneself in the midst of revellers could be intimidating. I ought to know. Last year at about this time, I was in a train in Boston, on my way to the airport. I did notice an unusual number of green hats and “I am Irish” t-shirts, but nothing prepared me for what happened at the Harvard station. A sea of 20-somethings in costumes of varying “green”ness flooded the train, chocking me to crap my pants. In comparison, the beach-tambaram train in madras is like a limo. Anyhow, that presented me with the excuse to down two bottles of Guinness at the airport.

Today, thanks to a colleague, I found myself in an Irish pub. I somehow have the opinion that whiskeys are inferior to whiskies and blended malts inferior to single malts. That’s just me, however. Never having tried Irish Whiskey, I ordered a glass of Jameson.

Notes — May be because I am conceited, very strong notes of the Re. 1 oorugai potlam and spirits. A few swirls later, wood and flowers. Spicy and nutty with sweet finish.

Gurkha

March 12, 2009

Yesterday, the wife’s grandmother died and she was a bit sombre. Mine does not seem like dying and that makes me unhappy. I offered to fix the wife a drink from vodka, orange juice and the works so that I could use the excuse to drink. She chose a movie instead.

We managed to be late enough for Watchmen, some superheroes group orgy. These days, doing nothing is not an option. In keeping with the times, we did He’s Just Not That Into You. It is hard to believe people can be so obsessed with  relationships, phone calls, dating and signals. Cynthia Heimel, Sex and the City and now their bastard children. I have had fucking enough of this but not homosexual and feminist screenwriters. I am not even sure if watching this makes me slightly gay but the truth is I will like it better than Watchmen or the iminent Harry Potter movie I have to put up with.

Update – Comments closed for this post. It is only fair that Maha’s “most-insightful-comment-ever-in-this-blog” remains the last word.

Gore

March 12, 2009

We lost an hour of sleep this Sunday. The geese have flown in. But where is the sun? More importantly, where is Al Gore?

Brahmaandam

March 12, 2009

Sometimes movie names become inadvertantly apt. Like the Indhi movie Shart. Or, the tamil movie, dubbed from kannada, named Brahmaandam. It has Namitha in it.