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August 10, 2009

Driving home from work, I was mesmerized by the darkness of the roads. They were blankets of black, straight and winding (what are the odds!) at the same time. The rhythmic hum of the engine and the radio kept distracting me from the thought of beer and chips I’d have after I got home. Beer is harmless, easy on the liver and lands on the stomach like fluffy flowers. Soft like a newborn’s cheeks, the head of a North Indian who eats dosai with knife and fork, and soft porn.

An idiotic woman driver cut into my lane and an iPod punk took his own sweet time to cross the road, making me miss the green. Just as I got the green again, another idiot pedestrian jumped out from nowhere. I motioned him to go ahead and he smiled at me. That is when I realized how much I feel at home here. This is my home. I live, work, sleep, shit and drink here. This city is as comforting as a mother taking care of a baby, spinning a cocoon of warmth and coolness at the same time, maintaing thermal equillibrium. It shelters and houses me, like Michael Jackson took care of teenage kids.

I am not quite given to homely sentiments. But this city is same and different as Madras, yet it is 8600 miles away.

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Ilk

August 7, 2009

Maha is going green not with recycling but with envy that a woman commended Sriram on sticking to his Brahmin roots. Maha blamed kali yugam (not the Prabhu film one hopes) and suggested writing about the woman and her ilk who agree with the views presented on that blog. Consider the below carefully:

1. Someone thinks that “views” are presented on Being/Empty Hip Flask
2. The insinuation that anyone would agree/disagree with those views.

Presumably, the ilk consists of people with earthy appetites. After all, who can have bigger appetites and who can be more earthly than people from the erstwhile Thanjavur district? Mangayarkarasi would write in her travelogues about the open gutters, dinosaurs pretending to be mosquitoes, outbreaks of filaria and the overpopulation of Iyengars, distinctive of — if not unique to — Kumbakonam.  But that would be unfair to the people of Kumbakonam. Someone should confiscate her free Railway pass and Internet.

Prediction

July 28, 2009

Writing shortly after the 2001 recession, a famous (Nobel) economist had this to say

The basic point is that the recession of 2001 wasn’t a typical postwar slump, brought on when an inflation-fighting Fed raises interest rates and easily ended by a snapback in housing and consumer spending when the Fed brings rates back down again. This was a prewar-style recession, a morning after brought on by irrational exuberance. To fight this recession the Fed needs more than a snapback; it needs soaring household spending to offset moribund business investment. And to do that, as Paul McCulley of Pimco put it, Alan Greenspan needs to create a housing bubble to replace the Nasdaq bubble.

We live and learn. The current recession, as we know resulted from the burst of the housing bubble. Therefore, to get out of it, we need to create another bubble to replace it. It is reasonable to assume that the next bubble will be either in clean/green/whatever energy sector or health care information technology. The big contributor to this bubble will be google – overvalued stock, clean energy initiatives and flu trends. All this will be brought down spectacularly by an Antitrust case. In light of this, you could make money by

a) going appropriately long/short on GOOG.

b) copy-pasting this post in longbets. Any win/loss is yours. I only demand credit for my idea.

Travelogue

July 9, 2009
Mangayarkarasi, wife of Senthilnathan, a Lower Division Clerk in Southern Railways, has traveled the length and breadth of Tamil Nadu with her husband’s free Railway pass. Her travelogues establish how refined and well-traveled she is. In short, she travels and she can write.
 
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Of all the places that I have been to, Pulichamorepatti stands out as prominently as the race of the current President of the United States. Situated 20 miles from Neikarapatti, Pulichamorepatti is not one of your run-off-the-mill towns near Madurai. This town does not have a rice mill at all. It is further enriched by the complex tapestry of traditional and modern values.

In Pulichamorepatti, the shopkeepers are disinclined to serve you the goli soda and kathiri beedi for free. Your Amex Delta Skymiles card means nothing to them. The women are buxom with an overpowering stench of love juices and sweat. A railway track runs through the middle of the village and is lined with dried shit.

There is also a modern twist to the otherwise rustic life. Davani clad teen girls who work at the nearby tannery giggle in the morning as they board the minibus. The repressed sexual tension between the girls and the lungi wearing youth is evident. May be a couple will sneak into the maanthoppu later in the evening. The local BSNL tower, (pictured below) has become a part of the village landscape just like the banyan tree and the striped jamakkalam have been for ages.

 

tower

(I will be posting about the bedazzlement caused by the amazing network of intriguing extra marital relationships and the rampant underage sex.)

–Mangayarkarasi, w/o K. Senthilnathan.

Sister Fucker

July 8, 2009

A scene from the movie “Masilamani”, produced by Sun pictures –

Heroine’s Mother – Yennanga, mani 6 aachu, namma ponnu innum veetukku varlaye.

Heroine’s Father(reading a newspaper) – Ava enna chinna kozhandaya, vandhuruvaa..

HM – aama, appidi ennadhaan andha paper la irukko. Kalaila irundhu padichukkitte irukkenga…

HF – Nalaikku kalaila 6 manikku adutha paper vandhrum nu dhaane ivlo kashta pattu padikkerein.. Indha paper la 3 nalaikku padikka vendiya alavukku vishayam irukku.

The camera zooms out to show that the heroine’s father is reading Dinakaran.

Whatever.

Guest Post II

July 6, 2009
Mark this day. It is a big day in the history of Republic India because the Supreme Court, in a landmark (no, not the bookshop) 7-2 judgement, lowered the age of adulthood from 18 to 12. As of today, children cannot be pushed over anymore.

I have often written about how India became a republic in 1950, but many Indians still don’t have a say in the process. Well, notch one up for our republic. There will be no more forced homeworks, curtailed wii hours and no more busting into the toilet when a kid shags to pictures from playboy (and there will be some mighty spirited shags tonight, as I write).

Finally, twelve year old men and women will not be discrimianted anymore! Fucking a 12 year old is not pedophilia, provided it is a consensual act. To clarify, the ruling decriminalizes only consensual sex involving twelve-year old men and women. Section 377 can still be used to prosecute coercive sex or sex with a minor hence understood as boys and girls younger than or equal to eleven years of age. And that’s just fine. As long as consenting adults can do whatever they fucking want.

This doesn’t mean that we have suddenly become an inclusive society. But at least everyone aged 12 can vote and participate in sexual activities. How big is that?

— The author is India’s eminent blogger and libertarian thinker who writes at Tasmac cutting.

Guest post

June 26, 2009

Note — The author of this post is an eminent blogger who blogs at Tasmac cutting. This blog is grateful to post his writing. Over to him –

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I am India’s eminent blogger and I like to fancy myself as a rational person with a libertarian bent. I’ll tell you it is not easy. I have to browse through all the news websites and find out irrational practices to mock. I then try and think of something sarcarstic to mock the custom, throw in a few wikipedia links to awe my minion readers, thereby bringing up my immense intellect in a casual manner. Today was a lucky day. I found a news item where some Floridans, a little too worried with the upcoming hurrincane season, decided to conduct — heteroexual — marriages between alligators, hoping it would ward off names like Katrina. I figured that the chances of Katrina striking again this year are very slim and the Floridans could be able to claim that the alligator weddings were the cause. I realized I could mock that by extending the logic to claim that my ritualistic downing 4 bottles of moonshine while watching “I am a celebrity…” also to be the cause. I jumped on wikipedia, took a crash course in their logic and fallacy section and peppered the post with links to “Confirmation Bias” and “Post hoc ergo propter hoc”. I felt smug and happy and wished everyday could be this easy. Until a lowbrow blogger decided to mock me. He extended my logic further and reasoned that if I fucked my wife and she delivered a baby and I felt happy on becoming a father, I would be committing the “post hoc ergo propter hoc” fallacy myself. He even had a pithy aphorism to offer – “Motherhood is reality. Fatherhood is belief.” Fuck him. Nobody reads him. I am the one with a ticking sitemeter.

Surreal

June 15, 2009

* There is a moron who is actually named “Shiny”.

* Despite being an actor or something, he is desparate enough to do his poor maid from Bihar.

* A genius reporter asks the public prosecutor handling the case this gem of a question — “What do you think was the motive?”. Perhaps he was bullied by kids in school for having a funny name and he finally decided to vent his frustration. Or may be that’s the way they roll in the naarth.

poondu rasam

May 17, 2009

My satellite radio subscription expired which means I am back to using the CD player. I had a CD which my friend burned for me sometime back. The lyrics for one of the songs

cigarette a style a thooki pootta … heroism da

kedachadha vechu sandoshappatta … realism da

idhu edhuvume puriyaama pona poondu rasam da

There were more such “ism”s in the song including communism and socialism. I couldn’t comprehend most of it. Probably this is the singing equivalent of writing cursive when you are unsure about the spelling.

economics explained

May 15, 2009
Re: hipocrats
by KRISHNAN DURAIRAJ on May 15, 2009 06:56 PM  Permalink
Before DMK government I bought rice at Rs.20 per KG. Now I am buying rice at Rs.32 per KG. Yes, GOD only can save TN people from DMK govt

Re: Re: hipocrats
by George Samson on May 15, 2009 07:10 PM  Permalink
I assume u might be 30 years of age today, Mr KD. When u were small propably yr parents bought Rice for Rs 5/- per KG now the rice is Rs 32 per Kg, the price hike is not due to any govt. but due to the overall inflamation all over the world. Wake Up Sucker and dont blame a single person or party. Be realistic in LIFE